How to set yourself up for success
I was recently gifted a free goal coaching session. This lady was good**. She wouldn’t let me get away with much. One of her first questions was, “How can you live your Brain-Based Transformation Coaching message?”
“Uh…”
Blink. Blink.
“By… doing the work I’m called to do, and looking after myself while I’m doing it?” I said as if I was asking her to affirm if I was correct or not.
I was quick to learn that that was entirely up to me.
Before the end of our one hour call I had self-care time, writing time, and even vacation time scheduled in my ACTUAL calendar for the next 3 months. I told you she was good.
I really liked her approach: small steps over time add up to a big result. I’ve written about something similar before in this blog post, The Best Way to Create a New Habit
Her thing was about taking really small steps.
One of the things that I think would help me live my Brain-Based Transformation Coaching message is to spend time tuning IN to myself, being introspective. Checking in with my inner wisdom, saying, “Hey! What’s up? What feels good, what needs to go?”
We decided on the following morning routine:
Wake up, dress appropriately for outside / doggy time. Go outside with dog, and while the belligerent puppy runs away take that time for 60 seconds of deep breathing.
Next I’m to take the dog’s lead and play too. It can’t hurt right? So she and I are to play for a few minutes, until I get hold of the precious Frisbee (read: she lets me take it back from her or leaves it for me) and lure her back inside.
The third step is for me to do a brain dump style writing. Just open a notebook and fill 1 page with what ever comes out.
Number four is to meditate for 60 seconds.
At this point she had me repeat to her in my own words to what I had agreed.
“First, I take the dog out. While she is chasing the geese in the field I breathe deeply. Then I play with her for a few minutes. Then I come inside and I write, free-flow style a few pages in my notebook, and lastly I meditate for… lets say 10 minutes.”
Nope. That’s not what I agreed to.
She was quick to correct me, “I just want you to write one page, and meditate for sixty seconds.”
I argued, “But I can do more.”
She rebutted, “I don’t want you do more. I want you to do what will be easy to do. I want you to do what you can succeed at. I don’t want to…”
“Set me up for failure,” I interrupted.
“Exactly,” she said”
It seemed so measly. One page. One minute.
But I knew she was right.
I knew that to succeed I needed to set an attainable goal. (Tweet it.)
Just like I mentioned in a previous article, How to get fit in less than an hour per week, I’ve won a few push-up contests in my day. I didn’t start out being able to do 30 push-ups with out stopping. No. I started with one. Then two. Three… and so on.
It’s just like Marie Forleo says in B-School, “Starting small, doesn’t mean thinking small.”
We often want to be further along than we are. There is a deep – secret society type of deep – implication that where we are here and now is not enough.
But the first step to getting anywhere is to acknowledge, ACCEPT and start where you are. (Tweet it!)
This is true no matter what the end goal is, whether it be a fancy, ocean-front house, a leaner body, or just a more mindful presence in everyday life.
To succeed at living my Brain-Based Transformation Coaching message I need to walk my talk. I need to start small, take consistent action, be patient, and evolve as my writing and meditation muscles grow over time.
What I’ve found over the last 4 days since I have been consistent with this, is what once felt measly now feels like something I’ve succeeded at. I already feel successful, and I’ve barely begun!
Where have you noticed this in your own life? Perhaps you over goaled? Maybe you picked a target, so unrealistic, almost to prevent yourself from actually reaching that goal? What were you afraid would happen if you achieved it? Perhaps success would mean more responsibility, or less free time?
These deep beliefs can often sabotage our progress. We can set ourselves up for failure so easily. At least if we fail… nothing would change.
It seems harder to set ourselves up for success. We often want things to change, but we don’t want them to be different. (Tweet it!)
Leave a comment below and let me know what you’ve been able to accomplish by starting small. What teeny tiny consistent steps led to big changes in your life?
Here’s to your jivin’ Health & thrivin’ Life,
Dr. Tonia
** In case you’re wondering who this woman is, her name is Michelle McCormick, and she is accepting new clients.
