Self love has come up a lot in conversation with friends and patients this week. This sparkled me to dig up an old article I wrote when I was in Naturopathic College.

It is a candid reflection of success, failure, and unconditional love for self and others.

Hopefully there will be some tasty tidbits in it for you! Originally published in the student newspaper, it has evolved as this post.

Doctor LOVE Thyself

In my second year at naturopathic college my unremitting, impeccable academic record become, well… slightly soiled. For the first time in my life I failed something.

To be more accurate, I failed three somethings.

Three. Midterms.

Yikes.

Some of my classmates seemed to be in the same boat, and for some reason we all forgot our paddles. And those who did remember them, didn't seem to remember how to use them.

I was terrified to tell my parents that their baby girl wasn't reaching the bar. I had to find the right time to let them down. An online conversation with my dad proved to be the perfect opportunity – there is nothing like hiding behind an emotionally muted monitor.

I typed what I had to type, and winced, waiting for his reply with my hands in front of my face and fingers spread as if I was watching a scary part in a scary movie.

You'll never guess what he said to me.

I was shocked and appalled.

"Maybe you're not getting enough exercise. You know it’s all about balance, sweetie."

I blinked, and lowered my futile hand screen from my face. I thought maybe he hadn't heard me or had misunderstood, because he didn’t mention anything about the marks.

Dumbfounded, I replied, “Thank you for not being upset.”

“LOL. Upset? We love you no matter what marks you bring home. We didn't set the bar you’re trying to reach, you did. We love what you're doing, and we have faith in you.”

Wow.

Unconditional love.

I got really excited at the possibility of emulating such love for my patients. I was proud of this practical connection I had established, but it wasn't until a couple days later that I realized that I'd missed the boat entirely (with or without a paddle).

Unconditional love for my patients and those around me is a beautiful and valuable thing, don't get me wrong. But what about me?

Don't I deserve to feel that way about myself?

Instead of saying to myself, “Good try, Tonia, I love you no matter what happens,” I found myself saying, “Tsk, tsk, tsk. Maybe you didn't notice, Tonia, but the bar is actually a couple inches higher, and I’d love you if you could reach that.”

Have you seen how short I am? If…I…could…just…extend…my…arm…with…this…paddle.

Why is it so hard for people to withhold judgement of themselves, to love themselves unconditionally, and have faith in their own abilities?

The way we think about ourselves affects every aspect of our very existences: how we relate to others, and to our surroundings. There are no benefits to selling ourselves short (even for those of us who really are short).

I like this quote by William Arthur Ward, “The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.”

As a health educator and doctor, my role is to teach people to care for themselves. I've come to realize the best way to teach this is to DO what I want them to do. And it’s more than just eating well or exercising.

It’s about cutting ourselves some slack and taking out the “if” clause out of our proclamations of self love.

So if you fall or fail, just grab a new paddle, or try a new stroke, I know this is not easy nor quick. But start now.

Find a mirror, look deeply into your eyes and tell yourself that you deeply and unconditionally love yourself.

Here's to your jivin' health and thrivin' life full of self love,

Dr. Tonia