Are You Suffering from an Upper Limit Problem?

I can’t believe I haven’t written about this before.

Wait. Let me back up.

On the weekend my husband and I traipsed from the exotic rain forest where we live on an island in the Pacific to a different part of the same rain forest and island – a little coast town called Ucluelet.

We met two of our best friends and two of their best friends there.

My BFF said, “What do you want to do this weekend?” I responded with two fairly reasonable demands, “I want to laugh and be in nature.”

Mission accomplished.

We had a divine time.

We explored the rocky coast line, sat mesmerized by waves, played silly games, made up new silly games (“Toss the Rubber Coaster,” or “Pass the Egg,” anyone?)

We enjoyed delicious shared fancy and unfancy, simple meals.

We hammed it up with photo shoot after photo shoot of us doing ridiculous things.

We had baths on our private decks (not together) as sea lions paraded by and eagles swooped in the sky. POETRY!

And the weather was glorious to boot.

This trip was the highlight of my year so far, with out a doubt. It was the epitome of happy, fun, good times. For me.

Monday I went back to work and it was a strange day.

I forgot my phone which carries my music for my acupuncture and Brain-Based Transformational Coaching sessions. Not a big deal. I was able to improvise with music that was on my lap top.

One patient was late because she got a speeding ticket on the way there. Another patient narrowly missed the same fate.

My receptionist was sick so I sent her home, and I had to do my own front desk work. Again, not the biggest deal. I can do that job. I don’t like to do that job because it’s not in my Zone of Genius.** I even managed to successfully do two direct billing payments. Woot!

I forgot my fork. I ate my salad and left over stir fry with my thumb and forefinger. There were beets in my salad. Despite washing them 3 times my “utensils” remained a bright and embarrassing magenta during the afternoon. And despite how goofy I felt about it I found it necessary to explain it to everyone, bringing attention to my pink phalanges. “Sorry… I tried washing them…”

I came home to an empty house, forgetting that my husband was out for the night. I felt like I wanted a hug but of course there wasn’t one for me when I got home. Nor was there by the time I went to bed – no good night kisses or I love yous to be had. It was a lonely and somewhat scary night.

Then after sleeping for a couple hours my husband turned a light on which woke me up. It was the middle of the night and he was in a lot of pain. Knowing what I know about the human body I told him we had to go to the hospital.

He wasn’t so keen.

I went on to the nurse’s hotline website and answered the questions and determined that we should seek care immediately.

He still wasn’t convinced.

I called the number and the woman asked me the same set of questions and drew the same conclusion. He finally agreed.

I realized what was going on.

Not with him medically (I have my theories but we’re awaiting tests to find out) – but in general.

I realized we had hit an upper limit.

End back up.

I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned this before.

I’ve written about the concepts of Gay Hendrick’s Book, The Big Leap a few times before:
Can Anger Be A Graceful Emotion?
Just Say, “Thank You.”
8 Ways to Reduce Fear and Increase Joy and Confidence.

But I had never written about the main concept in the book:

The Upper Limit Problems (or ULP.)

According to Hendricks we all have an ingrained threshold of how much good we will allow ourselves to accept or feel in this world. These belief systems are usually created in childhood.

This is certainly not conscious, but if we cross that threshold – the upper limit – something uncomfortable, painful, irritating or scary has to happen to bring us back into our comfort zone.

This weekend was so good that our internal alarms went off. We had crossed the upper limit and the crazy Monday put us back in our place.

Here is how I have seen ULPs show up in my life and the lives of my patients:

• Having a great day with your loved one and then getting in a fight about something dumb like dishes.
• Finding love only to subsequently come into financial hardship.
• Spending an awesome morning exploring and having adventures only to have the car break down.
• Getting sick as soon as you get to your vacation or on Christmas break.

The good news is if you’re dealing with upper limits you can change them!

So if you notice there seems to be a coincidence between bad things happening just after good ones pause and consider if you’re upper limiting yourself.

You can certainly go on thinking that these are just unfortunate coincidences.

Or you can change your perception of the negative thing and see them as an opportunity to grow into your delightful life full of joy and well being.

After all life is about feeling happy, isn’t it? (Tweet it!)

Via various exercises and mantras he teaches you how to expand your ability and capacity to feel good and have your life go well all the time.

My favorite is:
I expand in abundance, love, success, (and I add in health) every day as I inspire others to do the same.

Beautiful right?

Give that one a try. Bust through those upper limits.

To your healthy, thriving, delightful life,

** This is another awesome concept he describes in the book. Maybe I’ll chat about that in another article. (Or you could always read the book.)