Do you like Day Light Savings? Gah. I don’t like time change day.
It started a few years ago when I began to recognize that everything seem to be about 10° weird for the few days after time change day. Drivers driving crazy. Relationships relating wonky. And physiologically just feeling off – tired, cranky, blah.
And that recognition created anticipation of things not going well after time change day. It became a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts.
This Sunday was no exception. I was grumpy. There was a miscommunication and I had to do a bunch of extra driving to get something to my husband making me late for my lunch date. The place I wanted to go for lunch was closed. At the place where we ended up eating there were onions in my frittata. I hate onions.
I’m going to digress us a little bit. If you have seen me since the fall you may have noticed a rash on my left eyelid and upper cheek. This started after putting on some cheap make up at Halloween. D’oh! I have very sensitive skin that I talked about here and I should’ve known better.
If you’re calculating, Halloween was several months ago but the rash has persisted and gotten worse. While the make up started the rash, something was preventing it from healing.
And I’ve been doing all the things that I would typically tell a patient to do and to avoid. But it just seemed to circle around getting a bit better but never fully healing and then flaring up again.
It has been pretty embarrassing, and I started limiting my social engagements because of it. I mean geesh, I’m a doctor and I should be able to heal myself right?
Well the truth is sometimes it’s tricky to see what’s in your own way. The most recent improvement came after finally avoiding wheat and dairy. At the end of time change Sunday I looked at myself in the mirror and I noticed it’s finally doing better.
I said spontaneously, “Thank you skin for teaching me how to look after myself again.”
Paradigm shift!
My my skin wasn’t out to get me or cause me pain. It was trying to get my attention to teach me what my body needed.
Back to time change day. I had this flash thought, “What if I let annoying things feel or be less annoying?”
What if I choose differently?
What if I I choose to feel peace?
What if I choose to look at this day from another perspective?
Just What If.
I wasn’t necessarily committing to change my perspective, I was just hypothetically asking a question.
I’ve been doing it all week long and it’s been so awesome! Except that first day my post-time-change week has been quite delightful! I wasn’t even tired!
What if I could feel less pain in this moment?
What if I could lean into joy instead of this?
What if I chose to see this situation as a gift?
What if I allowed peace into my heart right now?
And every time I would give my system that opportunity to see things from a different angle I would feel lighter more joyful happier. Safer.
Through my very introductory studies into A Course of Miracles, I have learned the importance of a good reframe. The Course defines a miracle as a change in perception from fear to love.
That’s what I’ve been doing all week with my what if questions. I used to shy away from What If scenarios because it would send me into a tizzy of endless possibilities of negative outcomes. What if I lose my job and my family leaves me and I’m left with nothing? That type of what if is a downward spiral to know where good.
But questions like, What if I chose to let this be easy? What if I chose to feel in the flow? Instantly my nervous system calms down. The more I train this neural patterning the easier it will become.
From A Gift of Change by Marianne Williamson (a student of A Course), I love this passage, “Crossing the bridge to a better world begins with crossing a bridge inside our minds, from the addictive mental patterns of fear and separation, to enlightened perceptions of unity and love. We are in the habit of thinking fearfully and it takes spiritual discipline to turn around in a world where love is more suspect then fear.”
From the same book I also love, “The miracle workers task is this to consider the possibility there might be another way.”
I tried this with a patient as I had her on the table for BodyTalk. I asked her to tune into her body and tell me how it felt when she said, “What if I choose to let this transition be easy?” She felt this “Whoosh of peace.” and I noticed all her internal organs just soften and relax (my hand was on her belly at the time.)
What a powerful practice and gift!
I even tried it last night after I woke up twice from two different Dairymares. Yes nightmares from Dairy (
or any other food allergy) are a real thing. I over-cheesed myself yesterday. I got nightmares and my skin was flared this morning. A good reminder. Thank you body for teaching me how to look after myself.
The, “What if,” provides the mind a window of opportunity.
The, “If I choose,” or, “If I allow,” reminds your system that it has the power to decide.
And the new state of being, say Peace or Ease creates an exposure to a new experience.
Those two little words, “What if,” can change everything! (Tweet it!)
This patient said she hates it when people tell her that everything’s gonna be OK.
I have two theories about this.
1. It’s rude. It’s overriding what she is experiencing. It’s a terrible listening practice –
glossing over her pain to sooth the listener more so than her.
2. It’s so different from where she is right now.
However with those two magic words, “What if” it still acknowledges how she is feeling and it provides the slightest shift in her nervous system which created a big shift in her physiology.
Where you struggling? How does it feel to let yourself be open to the possibility that there is a less painful option? Try saying, “What if I was allowed to feel different in this moment?” What do you notice? I’d love to find out. Let me know in the comments below. And if you like this article please share it with your peeps.
To your healthy, thriving, delightful life!
My internal dialogue has been very similar, just started a raw veggie most diet today, end of day one, not hungry and feel much less like I’m carrying a bag of concrete in my gut! Yeah spring! Thanks for the good words!