Leaving the grocery store my eyes widened as the women’s produce rolled all over the parking lot, dozens of apples awkwardly bumping down the pavement, with gravity, that fierce mistress, as their accomplice, attempting to escape their fate of becoming something delicious.
I jumped into action, along with another passerby, grabbing what we could, running after what we couldn’t, looking under cars and behind bushes, gathering all of the fruit and returning them to the women’s box. She laughed and kept saying, “Oh well, they have to be washed and peeled anyways to go into the pies.”
She thanked me and the other fruit samaritan, as we nodded to acknowledge, “You’re welcome.”
I was walking back to my car when I heard her say to her husband, “I knew that was going to happen. I just had this feeling.”
Yeah.
How many times have you said that to yourself?
How often do you have a niggly feeling about something but ignore it only to realize your goosebumps weren’t a coincidence or inconvenience?
I see this all the time in practice listening to patients about their stresses, traumas, heartaches and heart breaks. The boyfriend who turned out to be a sociopath. The friend who turned out to be a narcissist. The business partner to turned out to be a manipulating thief.
Often I will ask, “Did that come as a surprise to you?” Very rarely do people reply, “Yes! I was completely caught off guard.” More commonly they respond, “No, I felt something was off from the beginning”
And no judgement! I’ve been there. I still catch myself in that space.
Personally, I’m very interested in the place or those moments where we override what feels good and true for us. I’m curious about it not only because it’s common, but mostly because it’s dangerous. I’m not trying to be dramatic, and please don’t take my word for it. I’m just sharing what I’ve experienced, witnessed and noticed in over 10 years of listening to the stories of people in practice. When we ignore our spidey senses it causes stress in the body and that stress makes us sick.
We have an inner guidance system made up of sensations, emotions or thoughts.
Sensations:
These are feelings and body changes such as goosebumps, shivers, tightening, constriction, expansion, loosening, heart palpitations, furrowed brows or sweaty palms that are there to tell us when something feels free or stressful. Sensations are easily described subjectively and can also be observed objectively. I’m having trouble taking a full breath. My hands are clenched. My eye is twitching.
Emotions:
These are the labels we use to attempt to categorize the sensations we experience, although sometimes inaccurately. We can say we’re experiencing anger, fear, worry, joy, or grief.
Thoughts:
Now, these are the words we hear in our head. The rational, logical, structured, ordered way we interpret information coming in through our senses. All good, except for one key phrase in the sentence above: interpret. The brain receives information and filters it through past experiences, cultural expectations, and belief systems, and therefore might not give us a reliable understanding of what’s happening. The brain can readily pull the wool and trick us into making a decision that seems optimal and amazing on paper but that doesn’t take into account the first category: sensations.
The way the body feels is the best way to “know” if a situation or relationship is good for us or not.
If the woman knew the box was going to release her apples all over the parking lot, why didn’t she take a moment to correct the problem? Why didn’t she go back inside the store and ask for a more sturdy carrying device? My best answer is that the moment she had the “felt” sense about gravity’s unrelenting power, her brain likely chimed in and said, “Oh don’t be silly, you’ll be fine,” or perhaps, “We’re in a hurry. There is no time to go back in there.”
When have you heard, “Oh you. Give her the benefit of the doubt,” or “As if, he’s not that bad,” or “People have it way worse, you should be grateful.”
Those are the pesky thoughts blinding us from what our body is desperate for us to hear.
- No, don’t go on that second date.
- Yes, take this leap, even if it’s not what your parents want for you.
- Stop, take another route.
- Please don’t eat that tomato.
- Darling, go to the ocean and create.
The problem with our sensations is they don’t speak in words, so it can be hard to understand them. We are used to having rules and guidelines in the form of language. I mean the kind involving clauses and phrases. Subjects. Verbs. Conjunctions. All that stuff.
What I am encouraging you to explore is an entirely different form of language. Your body willies. Every time you have a sensation or feeling consider it’s your body giving you a message.
12 Steps to Train your Intuition
- Stop.
- Notice. Did you just cringe internally? Did proverbial butterflies just come out of your heart?
- Ask. What are you trying to tell me? What is the message here?
- Listen.
- Heed what you hear.
- Avoid labelling the emotion. Keep it body centred – what do you feel happening in your physiology?
- Ignore the brain. But he has so much money. But you can’t quit your 9-5. But she says you can trust her. But they say they have your best interest in mind. This might be the hardest part. Remember the info that your mind is giving you has been filtered away from the original, distilled experience of the body sensation.
- When you realize you are lost in your thoughts come back to the feeling in your body. Breathing is a grand way to do this or turning into your senses like this.
- Ask. What is my next best step?
- Listen.
- Heed what you hear.
- Repeat.
Changes like this don’t happen overnight. They come with practice and consistency. Your body is wise. It “knows” how you can prevent stress in your life. It is trying to show you.
Your apples don’t have to fall on the cement. You don’t have to make pies with bruised fruit.
I’d love to hear from you. When have you “known” or “felt” something but behaved contrary to that feeling? What was the result? Did you course correct? How so?
Thanks for reading, beautiful. I hope this is useful.
To your healthy, thriving, delightful life,
P.S. On the topic of intuition, I wasn’t going to share this next piece with you because my brain was telling me a lot of stuff about why I shouldn’t or why it was’t worth it.
Five years ago I followed my intuition and watched a video series from Marie Forleo who teaches people how to use this fangled thing called the internet to run a successful business. The videos are available again (they only come out once per year) and I re-watched the first one.
Something happened that I didn’t expect. Several body sensations caught my attention: my heart was fluttering, I was leaning in towards the screen, my eyes felt sparkly and I was grinning from ear to ear.
I understand part of my experience was nostalgic and sentimental. It’s fair to say her training changed my life.
A little voice inside told me, “Share it. Even if only one person benefits, it’ll be worth it.“ I know sharing videos to help the modern entrepreneur might seem like a diversion from my normal Tonic topics, but here’s why I think it fits.
First I want you healthy. The World Health Organization defines health as: “A state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” This definition hasn’t changed since 1948.
Health is not just about being healthy, it’s also about being happy, and doing what you love. I want these two things for you too. If you’ve ever read any of my previous articles or seen me as a patient, then you likely know how fascinated I am by the choices we make in our lives and how they impact our health.
So, if you have a spidey sense that you have something to offer this world (and I believe we all do) or you want to learn how to connect more people to what you’re already offering, then I encourage you to click through and give this video a watch. In it Marie shares her origin story, why big-hearted, compassionate people are wired to succeed, and the 6 key foundational pillars to grow a profitable business online. You can check it out here.
You have no way of knowing the possible ripple effect that you can have when you follow your heart and live your dream.
P.P.S. While this training series is completely free, it does lead to a paid program called B-School. I’m happy to promote this program because of the massive impact it has had in my professional and personal life. To be completely transparent I might receive a referral fee if you sign up for this program based on my recommendation.
What a powerful article! I’d like to share one experience with intuition. I can’t pin-point when or where I started valuing it, but I was young. I think as a rape victim, I learned the hard way to listen to that little voice. When I was a young mother, the spidey senses would kick in sometimes, not all, when I went to the mall with my children. It was never consistent, and I couldn’t, again, pinpoint a particular trigger. But I listened and kept my children close by my side.
I found out much later, when a friend got a job at the prison, that there was a pedofile who would hang around the mall. He was know to attempt taking children when parents would leave them in the toy & pets section of Woolworths. Fortunately now offenders photos and profiles are released, they weren’t back then. And thank God for spidey-senses!